Absolut misery.

Hidey ho, internets!   It is I, Girl Corrupted back from another fantastic trip with my life long best friends, the douchebags.  Unfortunately we were down one original douchebag but happily we gained two “honorary” db’s for this adventure.   This time we aimed our sights on Carmel by the Sea in California.  It’s a quaint little town right on the ocean, where Clint Eastwood even served as mayor some years ago.   We had an adorable cottage just three blocks from the beach complete with a wood burning fireplace.  It’s chilly this time of year and a cozy fire was welcome nightly.

We spent four days eating, drinking, shopping, reading, cooking and laughing.  Mainly we just enjoy being together so the landscape doesn’t matter but in this case, it was pretty spectacular.

Oh.  One more thing.  We did this.


That’s right, we got our whale on.  We bought tickets to a whale watching excursion and roamed around the pier waiting to board the boat.  This is the part where I need to mention that my fellow travelers all took Dramamine but I chose to do a shot of Absolut Peach because I’m a bad ass and I don’t need no stinkin’ tummy pills.

Turns out, I DO need stinkin’ tummy pills.   We own a boat and I have been on a cruise ship but this was a totally different matter.  I was fine in the harbor but when we got out to the roaring ocean it was another game altogether.   The ship lurched side to side and up and down.  So did my stomach.   Y’all, I was GREEN.  I tried everything.  Focusing on the landscape, standing at the rear of the ship, chewing on mints, the whole shebang.  No avail.  One of the ship workers saw how sick I looked and tried to reassure me.  I said “well, I’ll make it for an hour, I’m sure” and then his face told me all I needed to know.  This was not an hour long jaunt.  Oh, no.  THREE HOURS.  I almost burst into tears.

And you know what else?  Whales are douchebaggy show-offs.  They said the last few weeks they’ve hardly seen any but wouldn’t you know the day I’m on that demonic boat they were EVERYWHERE.  Every few minutes a tail would flip and someone would spout off their blow-hole and we’d turn the ship in the direction and go look.  Sure enough on the other side some Humpback is douching out and waving a fin so we gotta turn around and go look at his narcissistic ass.  NINETEEN whales sighted total.  I’m like, “STAY DOWN YOU A-HOLES”.   I never actually threw up but fighting it for three hours was almost worse, it’s not like I haven’t puked in public before.  My counterparts were much more gracious than I’d have been and for that I was grateful.  I’ve never been so happy to be on dry land in my life although I still felt like I was swaying for a few hours afterwards.  So, now we know.

Dramamine = good.  Whales = showoffs.  Girl, Corrupted = dumbass.




One thought on “Absolut misery.

  1. Oh, that is classic! When I went whale watching… no whales. After you’re story I’m pretty happy about that now!

    When I was in Club Med and we took a boat to the party island I was VERY seasick on the way back.(And yes, my level on intoxication didn’t help) My cure, which totally took my mind off my stomach, was being fabulously fingered by my date… only doable since we sat facing the ocean. “awww.. such cuddlers!” I’m sure everyone thought muahahaha.

    But I see how my technique wouldn’t have worked in your situation 🙂

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