Open mouth, insert foot, hit “send”.

Well, it finally happened, and let’s be honest, it was bound to happen eventually. Really, it was probably over due.

For the first time in my life I sent a reply to an email thinking I was soley responding to a personal friend when in reality, it went to an entire list serv.

I’ll start at the beginning.

Last week I was at work and up to my pits and tits with invoicing.  I took a break at lunch and decided to check my personal email and I saw that a  friend of mine had sent me
an email and the subject line was for a charity bike ride for Diabetes.  It just read “are you ready to ride”!?  I immediately laughed because she and I participated in this God-awful ride last year and I had to quit at mile 50 because I thought I was GOING TO DIE.  She completed the ride but it’s been a good-natured joke between us since then.   I was busy but I wanted to respond to her  because we’d had a meeting the night before with our bike club and she’d brought me an awesome handmade birthday present so I wanted to shoot her a quick thank you.
I shot her a snarky little note rife with observations from said meeting and went to lunch.  I’m so funny, I thought!
I came back in and plopped down at my desk and brought up my email.  Immediately I saw MY OWN EMAIL in my INBOX.      I then saw around 16 other emails with the exact same subject line.
We just lost cabin pressure.
My lunch seriously almost came right back up because it was clear that my email had gone to the entire bike club, not just to my pal.  What happened next is kind of blurry because I was trying not
to pass the F out.  I think I kind of ran around in circles like I was having some sort of seizure whispering “ohshitohshitoshitoshit”!  I called Johnny and hastily told him what had happened hoping he’d have some instant fix but instead he just kind of chuckled and said “you know honey, I find it hard to believe this hasn’t happened to you before…this is seriously the first time?”, to which I screamed “NOT HELPFUL!” into my cellphone and hung up on him.
Trembling, I sat back down at my computer and clicked on the other emails.  Of course they were all folks telling me that they had received my private email.   One lady even responded
“Whoa.  DON’T YOU KNOW THIS GOES TO THE GROUP?!?  WHOA!!!!!!!!!”
Yes, yes I do.  Now.
Let’s review.  I sent an email to around 75 women in my bike club where I proceed to………..
1.  sort of make fun of Diabetes (!) and the charity ride ( we have around 5-8 members who have Diabetes and this ride is the most coveted group ride we participate in)
2.  refer to another member as a “dirty hippie”
3.  insinuate that our Treasurer is dour
Oh, did I mention that I am also THE VICE PRESIDENT of this club?!?!   Jesus.
Needless to say, the fall out has been good times.  Nothing I could do but own it and face up to it and to be honest the thing I felt the worst about is calling the one chick a dirty hippie because I think she’s pretty cool.  I sent the a proactive apology and stated that I hoped that if she was in fact a dirty hippie then she’s probably a pacifist and hopefully wouldn’t kick my ass.  Come to think of it, that doesn’t sound much like an apology, does it!?
It’s kind of going down the middle I think.  Some folks thought it was funny and kind of privately think along the same lines.  Other ladies think I’m horribly inappropriate and offensive.  My friend was even a little bit upset because the email pretty much made it clear that she and I talk about the entire club which of course we do but she is a sweet and good person that actually does care about what people think which begs the question, why is she friends with me to start with?!?   I AM A BAD PERSON.
The whole thing has been a terrible mess and I’ve learned a lesson, certainly.  You want to know the most horrifying part?!?  Between you and me, it’s that I didn’t HAVE MORE TIME.  I was in a hurry when I jotted this email down and I can only imagine what pen would have put to paper if I’d had more time in which to really let loose.  It could have been so. much.worse.
Shit.
Think I should put “reply to all” on my jersey?

3 thoughts on “Open mouth, insert foot, hit “send”.

  1. Bwahahahahaha!!! I’m with Johnny on this! Flippin hilarious! You obviously had not dosed them enough with your irreverent type of humor to the satisfaction of Fate. Who OBVIOUSLY felt the need to nudge your hand juuuuuust a little to hit the Reply All button. And now they ALL know the extent you’ll go to bring the JOY of laughter (I said Laugh, Dammit! *smack smack*) to others.

    Get out to California, I can’t wait to meet you in person lol.

    Oh and the t-shirt should say, “Yes I hit reply all… I was obviously possessed at the time.”

  2. Betsey says:

    that’s why i love you … LOL

  3. Wendy says:

    Yes! “Reply all…” on the jersey!

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