Happy New Year, y’all!
How was yours? Did you celebrate? Did you drink champagne? Did you trip the light fandango? Did you sit around in dirty sweatpants shooting whiskey while watching “Breaking Bad” dvd’s?
Oh wait, that last one was probably just me.
So, 2012 is in the books and I for one am thrilled. It wasn’t the worst year, by far, but it certainly had its challenges. We lost Johnny’s Father. I couldn’t find gainful employment to save my life until a really fortunate fourth quarter rally in September. Did I mention that I got a rejection letter from Trader Joe’s in 2012? We bought a restaurant that subsequently tried to kill me despite my best efforts whilst manning a 550 degree oven in the scorching summer heat of East Tennessee.
We thought my house in Nashville was sold (finally!) but as luck would have it the deal fell through thanks to my incompetent and lazy realtor so guess what? Unexpected mortgage payment at Christmastime! O Holy Shitballs.
Anyway, there were plenty of things that went right (four more years!) in 2012, but by and large it was a year that I’m grateful to put behind me.
That’s what she said!
So once yet again I’m back on the bandwagon. Well, the wagon, for starters. No booze. I’m ready to ONCE again try to reinvent myself and my lifestyle. The only person more incredibly sick of this bullshit besides you guys is my husband himself. You think this is getting old? TRY LIVING WITH ME.
But listen! Don’t leave! I’m serious this time! OMG I’m like the battered wife that won’t press charges on her abusive mate. THIS TIME IT’LL BE DIFFERENT, OFFICER, I PROMISE!
Seriously though, in 2013 I will turn 45 and I am a good ten or so years behind on getting honest and adult about my lifestyle and my choices. I am too damn old to get the band back together but not too old to rock it occasionally. I will not bore you yet again on the details but here we go. AGAIN.
I read something the other day where someone yet again defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” and someone else commented that she thought it was a better example or definition of hope.
I like that.
So here’s to 2013. It’s going to be our year, folks. I’m bringing back sexy, clean eating and possibly yoga. Quinoa can suck it but I’m down with some brown rice, yo.
I’m also heading up to Michigan in a few weeks to celebrate my Granny’s 106th (!) birthday. Yessir. She turns 106 on January 4th and is STILL LIVING ALONE and full of squash and vinegar. Or Sherry.
Either way, stay tuned. Please. Pretty please.
I hope you will, anyway.