So I’m on pins and needles about this job. They sent me a note yesterday and said they’d probably know something soon so here I sit staring at my laptop and refreshing my browser every 12 seconds. I’ve done nothing all day long but that’s not really new is it?
Now if I do in fact get the job I’m going to be somewhat bitter about how I’ve spent this “time off” in between jobs. What I SHOULD have been doing is catching up on house cleaning, riding my bike, finishing my scrapbooking and reading. What I DID DO is lie about my house in dirty pajamas watching marathon episodes of Hoarders and Intervention clutching a bottle of vodka and feeling sorry for myself. Pitiful.
Then I find myself job surfing on Craigslist and I get so irritated and annoyed at the scams and misspellings that I wind up over at “missed connections” because you know I love that shit. I read it for the sheer ridiculous entertainment, not because I’m hoping anyone is ever looking for me. If I see a headline that reads “dumpy gal in stained sweatshirt counting change in liquor store” I’ll know better than to click on it. Of course, I always read the men looking for women too because IT IS AWESOME.
Here’s my fave opener from yesterday’s search:
My name Robert. I am a heavyset guy. I am born with one bad arm and I have a trach tube in my throat for sleep apnea. Those 2 things doesnt stop me from doing anything i want to do. You guys this was his INTRO. His grammar kills me but you gotta admire his pluck.
So I wait. And refresh. And refresh again. And go back to Craigslist. And watch “The View” and secretly wish that I could take a fireplace poker to that smug little Elizabeth Hasselback. Seriously, isn’t she awful? Every time she opens her mouth I want to slap her with both hands. Anyway, you can see how productive my mornings are can’t you? It’s come to this. If I don’t hear something by the end of the day I will wear a path in the dining room rug from pacing and probably be missing a large patch of my own hair.