Tick tock

So I’m on pins and needles about this job.  They sent me a note yesterday and said they’d probably know something soon so here I sit staring at my laptop and refreshing my browser every 12 seconds.   I’ve done nothing all day long but that’s not really new is it?

Now if I do in fact get the job I’m going to be somewhat bitter about how I’ve spent this “time off” in between jobs.  What I SHOULD have been doing is catching up on house cleaning, riding my bike, finishing my scrapbooking and reading.  What I DID DO is lie about my house in dirty pajamas watching marathon episodes of Hoarders and Intervention clutching a bottle of vodka and feeling sorry for myself. Pitiful.

Pathetic, really.

Then I find myself job surfing on Craigslist and I get so irritated and annoyed at the scams and misspellings that I wind up over at “missed connections” because you know I love that shit.  I read it for the sheer ridiculous entertainment, not  because I’m hoping anyone is ever looking for me.  If I see a headline that reads “dumpy gal in stained sweatshirt counting change in liquor store” I’ll know better than to click on it.  Of course, I always read the men looking for women too because IT IS AWESOME.

Here’s my fave opener from yesterday’s search:

My name Robert. I am a heavyset guy. I am born with one bad arm and I have a trach tube in my throat for sleep apnea. Those 2 things doesnt stop me from doing anything i want to do.  You guys this was his INTRO.  His grammar kills me but you gotta admire his pluck.

So I wait.  And refresh.  And refresh again.  And go back to Craigslist.  And watch “The View” and secretly wish that I could take a fireplace poker to that smug little Elizabeth Hasselback.  Seriously, isn’t she awful?  Every time she opens her mouth I want to slap her with both hands.  Anyway, you can see how productive my mornings are can’t you?  It’s come to this.  If I don’t hear something by the end of the day I will wear a path in the dining room rug from pacing and probably be missing a large patch of my own hair.

5 thoughts on “Tick tock

  1. Kymberli says:

    Jenny, I was told I’m going to be laid off about three weeks ago, I have one more week left at my job – I’ve been sitting around my house in dirty sweats, clutching a bottle of vodka, watching marathons of “Storage Wars”. I can’t seem to leave the house, because then I can’t casually walk by the computer every 30 seconds or so to check my emails… To see if the job offer I’m waiting for has arrived (no, not yet, not yet, not yet) So nice to know I have a sister across the country doing exactly the same thing as me! But judging from your past performance and sparkling personality (well, more personality than performance, let’s be honest here) I’m sure you’ll be employed in no time at all. I do miss my days of sitting across the cubicle divider from you at DCC and listening to your ramblings…

    • vodkagal says:

      Kym! That’s awful, I’m so sorry to hear it. I tell ya, it’s rough out there. In my interview on Tuesday they mentioned that they’d had over 100 resumes the first day of posting the position. It’s crazy. But I know you and I know you’ll land on your feet – but it’s just such an awful feeling to have to “start over”, isn’t it?
      I hate it. Also, smart ass, I enjoyed your “personality over performance” comment! Well, we’re together in solidarity, aren’t we? I’m vowing to myself that tomorrow I at least get out of bed by 11am. It’s good to have goals. Seriously though, I’m thinking of you and sending positive employment vibes your way! Keep me posted!

  2. The only way the email will arrive is if you leave the house. Seriously!! This works EVERY time! Just yesterday I was at a conference and trying to swipe a credit card thru my iPhone’s Square Reader and it was getting NO service so I’m just waiting and waiting and the poor customer is like… “I gotta get to the next session.. just wanna buy a DVD here” So I give up and start to right down the number… just as I finish…it goes through. Happened 3 times!

    Sadly this also works for the lottery… as soon as you STOP playing…. BAM your numbers come up.

  3. Betsey says:

    Did you hear anything? For the sake of personal hygiene … and ALL of humanity … I hope you hear something soon! Please put down the firepoker … Love ya, girlie!!!

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