An Interview beats an Intervention

Okay you guys I totally had my interview and I *think* it went well.  Here’s a list of things that didn’t happen.

I did not..

  1. fart (audibly or otherwise)
  2. burp
  3. vomit
  4. use profanity (this one was close)*
  5. fall down
  6. shit pants
  7. scratch butt
  8. sniff armpits
  9. pick nose
  10. hock out a loogie into their trash can

Victory!  I’ve come a long way, huh?  Remember it was just a scant few years ago that I picked my teeth with my car keys and nonchalantly spit out whatever was stuck in there in a crowded elevator.  I tend to get a little too comfortable sometimes.

I had a pretty good vibe about the whole thing and they asked if I was available to start Monday, so I think that’s a good sign, right?  My plans for Monday involve napping in between Hoarders episodes so I told them I was free.

It’s a REAL job, guys.  Like I’d be running their office.  Now I’d be the only chick working there which I’m totally down with but I’ll be honest, I’m somewhat concerned and here’s why – normally I’m not worried about working with dudes because I am pretty much a dude and I’m what they call “a guy’s gal” but here’s the thing:  these guys are totally metrosexual and I’m not sure they’ll think I’m amusing whatsoever.  I do well with regular guys-guys and I do fabulously well with the gays but it’s the in between where things get a little blurry.  I can clean it up for a little while but the metros don’t appreciate a trash talking whore like you’d think.  The guys and the gays?  LOVE IT.

So, we’ll see.  If they don’t hire me I’m totally going down to their swanky glass store front and wiping a booger on it.  At 3am.

* this one was way close because we were discussing a mutual acquaintance who happens to be a little shady and I ALMOST slipped and referred to him as a fucking fruitcake.  Luckily I caught myself and just kind of stumbled into “f-f-f-fruitcake”.  So there’s that.  I’ll take it as a win.

6 thoughts on “An Interview beats an Intervention

  1. DFash says:

    I think you’ll be surprised at just how accomodating metrosexual guys are. If I worked in an office full of them I’d be in heaven. Guys who know how to dress, how to style their hair, smell nice AND like women? Total win!

    • vodkagal says:

      That’s true. I just feel like I’m so NOT hip and trendy when I’m around them but then again maybe they’ll feel sorry for me and try to groom me into a real girl, like Chuck Minor.

  2. Betsey says:

    I am totally impressed … 😉

  3. vodkagal says:

    Thanks, Bets! I was pretty pleased with myself.

  4. Easiest way to be accepted by ALL is to be the type who accepts all without an issue. So just be yourself…. eventually…. by then they’ll love you and won’t care! I hope you get the job!

  5. ric says:

    forget that, do not be your self for at least 30 days, give them some time to get used to you, before you fart.
    like the new site sis.

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