A few weeks ago we had some drama in the Corrupted household. Seems our 5th grader, Lily, had a little bout with a boisterous lad in the cafeteria.
Story has it that Lily and her friends were enjoying their lunch when this young imp approached their table.
“Do you guys like fishsticks”?, he inquired.
“Um…not really”, Lily answered.
“No, they’re gross”, said her friend Lucy.
“I do”!, said her other friend Chloe, which gave the young Steve Martin the opportunity he was waiting for. Word has it he gleefully danced about their table pointing at his private area yelling something wildly impolite about his “fishstick”.
Now, upon hearing this it was ALL I could do not to collapse into gales of laughter. The school informed us what had happened and Johnny was rather dismayed that this type of thing was “starting already”. “Please”, I said, “when I was in 5th grade Joey Fletcher asked me on the playground if I’d ever kissed a rabbit between the ears”.
“What the hell does that even mean”? Johnny replied.
I quickly pulled out the pockets out of my jeans so that the white insides were exposed and pushed my lower half out and pointed to my fly.
“Oh, good grief”, he laughed. “Exactly”, I said. “Wake up. Penis humor has always started young”.
Now, of course, The Fishstick Incident is two fold. The poor lad who thought it was his night at the Improv ended up with two days in-school suspension. Parents were called. Evidently they sweated him down and he gave up two of his other accomplices in the plan as well and their parents were called. It was quite the scandal. Of course I think this type of thing should be addressed. I don’t want this kid growing up to be some sort of bully and threatening high school girls on bus benches or the like.
However, on my lowest level I do want to be able to appreciate a good (mostly harmless) penis joke. I don’t want us to be so politically correct as to not see some humor in this juvenile silliness.
We’ve laughed (privately) about The Fishstick Incident quite a bit. We want Lily to know that she did the right thing by telling her teacher and that his behavior was very inappropriate. Funny as hell, but inappropriate.
The other morning I was half awake and thinking about the day to come. Johnny was stirring and I nudged him and reminded him that he had promised me breakfast the night before.
Johnny: *sleepily* I did?
Me: Yes. You did.
Johnny: Um. Okay. What do you want?
Me: I dunno…eggs? Toast?
Johnny: How about a fishstick?
Me: *growling* Um, no.
Johnny: It comes with a side of hush puppies!
See? It may start young, but it never really goes anywhere.