I went out the other night with a few girlfriends and received a belated birthday gift from one of them. How thoughtful, I thought as I unwrapped it and then upon laying eyes upon my treasure, I was speechless.
A flask! Complete with attached funnel on the chain to the left.
I was thrilled, of course, at such a fun and functional gift. Then I got to thinking, perhaps there’s a patten here. So, last night I dug around in my kitchen cupboards. Here are the results.
Wild Turkey Flask
This bad boy is at the head of my collection firstly because it was a gift from my Father and secondly, because he’s the largest. He comes in handy at football games, concerts or say, church. I found that it’s incredibly hard to take photos of most flasks because of the reflection, so bear with me. He’s got a glass lining and is scratched to hell as you can see. My Dad used him for years before handing it down to me and he’s seen a lot of nonsense, I’m sure. I’m not sure where he came from and what’s more amusing is that my Father wasn’t a Wild Turkey drinker, either. Then again, we Irish will drink about anything if push comes to shove. It wasn’t his preference, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have turned it down.
That brings us to our next fella.
Jack Daniel’s flask
This little guy is one of my favorites because of the engraved detail, just like the label on the bottle. He also has a funnel. That totally comes in handy when one’s pouring ability may be a little shaky. He’s a pocket flask and will easily slip into the side of a cowboy boot. He was a gift from a friend years ago and he was very instrumental in my meeting one of the Indigo girls years back. Thanks to this fella and his contents, I had no problem literally chasing Amy Ray down in a crowd and professing my undying love to her. Now there’s a restraining order that prevents me from doing such things, but it was totally worth it.
That bring us here.
Again, I apologize for the picture quality. A few years ago I was asked to be in a wedding and by “be in the wedding”, I mean I was asked to be the greeter and hand out the programs to the arriving guests. Thankfully, no one is crazy enough to ask me to be a bridesmaid. Anyway, I guess it is customary for the bride and groom to give gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen etc, as a thank you for their participation in their big day. I wasn’t expecting anything, of course, but I was totally gobsmacked when the bride presented me with this flask, bearing my (then) initials. Evidently the groomsmen had all received one but instead of giving me the traditional bridesmaid gift, she opted to order another flask for me. I’m not sure what gift she gave the bridesmaids, but I know it wasn’t nearly as cool as my kick-ass flask. Thanks Bets! This one also has a clasp for the lid which comes in really handy when my ninja-like motor skills aren’t at their finest.
What wouldn’t Jesus do?
Okay, I worry a wee bit about this one and my karma but what can I do? It was a gift. I’ve posted before about my friend Ben. He’s crazy. Crazy hilarious fun. This was a Christmas gift a few years back and it’s a real crowd pleaser. And really? Jesus started that whole “water into wine” thing so I don’t know that he’d take offense. This one is truly my church flask.
Wedding Flask, 2
This was a gift from a former boss and mentor. I have nothing but adoration and respect for this man and when he presented it to me at my going away party I got teary. This man believed in me when no one else would and put me on the path to a successful career which I totally had for 8 years until of course, I married Johnny. Love isn’t just blind folks, it’s also broke. Anyway, it’s perfect for Titans games (which we tailgated regularly) and every time I see it or sip its warm whiskey goodness I think of my friend. Slàinte, Tim.
There is one flask missing from this post. The most important one, really. My Father had a life long flask. It was round and had the words, “Here’s a smile to those I love”, engraved on the front. It was so well-worn and used that there was actually a groove along the backside where his thumb fit perfectly. An indentation that fit my thumb as well. He passed it down to me somewhat reluctantly years ago. It sat atop a shelf after that in proud display. About ten years ago I decided to take it out of retirement and use it on a camping trip.
I thought my Dad would like that it was being loved. On a tubing trip down the Adams river I lost my grasp on the flask and it toppled into the water, sinking with more speed than I could swim and the current simply carried me away.
I threw up from heartache. I never told him that I had lost it, either. I’m at peace with it now. I can’t see it or hold it or feel it’s warmth, but I know it’s there, somewhere. Just like my Daddy.
Oh, wow. That took a dark turn, didn’t it? Jesus. Well, the point of this post is that you can’t go wrong with a good flask. Now a woman that owns six? Well, I’d suggest you invite her to your next party. Trust me, she’s a lot of fun.