Friends, FAIL.

The unacceptable photo.  Dammit.
I *tried* to apply to an online group this afternoon that touted sisterhood and camaraderie and plenty o’ good times.  I’d been reluctant in the past because of an online questionnaire that was required before member acceptance but today I caved and filled out said registration form.   I just received this reply.
Your request to join our club was declined.

The person who declined your request said:

Hey Jen:
I LOVE your sense of humor, but we need to keep this site
diplomatic and classy.  Your answers were pretty cute, but
please, for the sake of first impressions (for other members)
and the group on a whole, remove the “porn”, “ass” and “gay”
Also, we have a strict rule that says every member must have a
clear, easily distinguishable photo of themself as their main
profile photo, sans sunglasses. Please update and reapply.
You sound like a blast and we’d love to have you in our club!

Wamp.  Wamp.  (the sound of failure)

Meh.  Oh well.  I guess it’s sweet that she’s encouraging me to re-apply but I’m totally not diplomatic or classy.  Plus, I thought I totally cleaned myself up on the online application.  Come on, I made no mention of diarrhea, boogers or the time I accidentally ate some maggots.

I’m glad I have you guys.  You understand me.  You get me.  And if I can’t use the words “porn”, “ass” or “gay” then it’s unlikely that I’ll be able to put together a sentence at all, really.

11 thoughts on “Friends, FAIL.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Love it! Too funny!-joy

  2. JT says:

    I'm surprised it was just "porn", "ass", and "gay". You usually are much more colourful with your words.Also, I'm really amused that Joy's comment is marked as anonymous, yet she signed her name.

  3. Right on GT! lol. And Jen, any group would be LUCKY to have you in it! People like us, who are unusual, without the "filter" that makes so many inhibited and boring, WE are the reason life is interesting! Don't EVER change who you are to fit into a Cog! Better to corrupt the system within with blatant "YOU-ness"!At least that's MY philosophy. And probably why I work alone! I think you should re-apply NOT using porn ass or gay but using diarrhea, boogers & maggots! And submit a Halloween costumed picture! But I like to taunt those who judge me, with MORE me! Muahaha.Heather

  4. You need to tell them your real name is horse!

  5. I say we start our own group. One that you can't join unless you use the words porn, ass and gay. Preferably in the same sentence.

  6. Jen says:

    Thanks for the support, guys! I knew you guys would "get it". Doesn't Courtney Love have a friends group I could join? I'd probably get denied for using such MEDIOCRE words. *sigh*

  7. Shannon says:

    This sounds about right…

  8. Jess says:

    Ahaha! That's awesome. I had forgotten about the maggot crackers. Reading that made me gip all over again.

  9. Anonymous says:

    reminds me of the time I made the mistake of attending sorority rush… OMG! What does your father do? Your hair is so pretty…

  10. Broooks says:

    Bwahaha! I would never belong to a club that wouldn't have you as a member. How can there be social networking where there is no porn, ass or gay?

  11. Roger says:

    The DB4 IS THE CLUB!! You have absolutely no need for any of the others!

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