I’ve got your Yule Logs hangin’.

The view from my kitchen window.
Happy holidays, y’all! Are you in the spirit? Are you done shopping and have you decked your halls? Are you baking cookies and sipping eggnog? Here at the Corrupted Household we are all things Christmas this year. This is technically our fourth Christmas together but it’s clearly the best yet. We’ve got a new home and have pimped it out accordingly. A wood burning fireplace is a good start, I’ll tell ya. We have stockings hung and banisters spiraled with garland. We have twinkling lights and candy canes and snowflakes everywhere. We have a gorgeous tree and have even set up a cozy and quaint miniature Christmas village. I’ve even gone so far as to don holiday towels in the guest bathroom. Who am I?

It’s a wonderful time of year and Johnny and I are looking forward to having the best Christmas ever. We’re keen to remember what Christmas is truly about and feel such gratitude for all the blessings bestowed upon us. We’re a lucky bunch. I know sometimes I bitch, complain and lament, but ultimately I feel like pinching myself most of the time to see if I’m actually living in a dream. Oh, sorry. Did you just barf?
Alright, enough of that sap. Let’s get to some bullshit.
ALL IN THE (MODERN) FAMILY
So, are y’all watching “Modern Family”? If not, START NOW. Seriously, this is the best show on network television. Johnny and I are completely addicted. This show has done for Ed O’Neil what “Pulp Fiction” did for John Travolta.
Watch this.
I love Cameron. I love Gloria. I love Phil. I love this show. It makes me so happy.
OH THOSE CRAZY PLUMBERS
Today I had some plumbers to the house to repair a stripped shower faucet. Our new house isn’t exactly new, just new to us. It was built in the 1950’s and has some old fixtures. Plumber #1 was writing up my invoice while I chatted with Plumber #2.
(I would use their names, but c’mon, they’re plumbers, I think they’re used to hearing #1 and #2) Anyway, Ella (age 5) was running around the house and came into the kitchen and grabbed my leg. Plumber #2 laughed.
#2: Ha! Well, isn’t she a cutie?
Me: She’s a handful!
#2: Well, you can’t deny her!
Me: What’s that?
#2: You sure can’t deny that she’s your daughter. She’s the spitting image!
Me: *laughing* Actually, she’s my stepdaughter.
#2: Wuh?
Me: Yes. She’s my husband’s daughter from a previous marriage.
#2: Oh, wow. Was he married to your sister?
Mr. Cooper snuggles up.
So, school is out now and we’ve got gingerbread houses to make, cookies to bake and cocktails to take. My in-laws are coming over on Christmas Eve for a full on turkey with all the fixin’s dinner and I even have a special Christmas day breakfast planned… hash brown casserole, sausage cornbread and crispy bacon. Tomorrow we’re making Christmas cookies so that should be a post in itself, like last year.
For now though, I’ll leave you with a lovely Christmas card created by Ella. Unfortunately it seems there’s been a terrible fire at the North Pole and sadly, Santa was not without injury. If you are of a certain age, you’ll remember “In Living Color”.
Do you remember “Fire Marshall Bill”?
If so…I give you…

Fire Marshall Santa

As if to add insult to injury, his cap seems to take on a candle-like resemblance. I love Ella and I embrace her creative license, but I’m totally going to have nightmares over this grotesque image. Talk about your nightmare before Christmas. Wowza!

2 thoughts on “I’ve got your Yule Logs hangin’.

  1. "was he married to your sister!" Hahahaha.. I died laughing! Don't you love those types of conversation.. they are the best. They're like an extra smile for your day that hopefully you get to innocuously pass on to another person's day someday.I'm begging my boys to leave Santa ANYTHING but cookies.. cuz she don't need the extra pounds!!

  2. Wow so strange you being a Mom and all….Is Coop getting grey? Give him a kiss for me!Fire Marshall Bill is what I will look like when I'm dead….

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