I’ve owned Mr. Cooper for almost four years now. I feel like over the years, we’ve developed a pretty close relationship. He and I understand each other, you could say. In the last few months, however, there’s been a new development. As far as toys and playthings, Mr. Cooper has always cherished the classic rawhide bone. He goes through around two a week and will carry them around with him from room to room. He’ll sit and and chew on them contently while John and I watch our evening tv.
A mystery has been occurring in our home recently. I’ve chastised the girls a few times over the last few months for leaving their stuffed animals on the floor, and underfoot. They protest occasionally, but mostly they just shrug and pick up the animal or toy. About a month ago we caught the culprit red handed. Or should I say “pawed”. Lily had left her stuffed purple monkey on the couch and as Mr. Cooper ran in to living room he promptly scooped it right into his mouth, shaking his head violently back and forth and grumbling happily.
I looked at Johnny and we both began to laugh. As a single girl living alone with Mr. Cooper, it’s not like I had stuffed animals lying around the house. Presented with the opportunity, it turns out Mr. Cooper loves a bear, a monkey or even a stuffed lion. The girls, however, were not amused. Nothing like finding your monkey on the floor covered in slimy dog saliva. So, I headed out to the pet store where I came home with some new toys. Of course, to prove what a complete a-hole I am, they all make some sort of horrible off key squeaky noise when squeezed. Often he’ll be in an another room in the house and I will step on one and pump it like a squeeze box until he comes running into the room so fast that he often spins out on the hardwood floors from such a high rate of speed. This, I like.
Mr. Cooper doesn’t know where to turn first. He hoards his new toys on his bed and Johnny and I play “keep away” with one while turning to the other just to watch his head explode. Ah, our exciting life in the country. Torturing an innocent animal for our own folly!
That’s alright, he’s not totally innocent, after all. Just ask two little girls who have had their stuffed animal pets wrongfully slimed for the last four months.