9:15 Get lost trying to take a short cut to downtown. Say “screw it” and hit McDonald’s for a mocha.
9:45 Arrive at pre-school. It’s snack time! Awesome.
10:00 Put straws in juice boxes. Cuss under breath because little straws with pointy edges going into mylar (?) is NO FUN. Cheese and Nilla wafers! Hooray!
10:01 Wipe noses.
10:02 Steal a couple goldfish crackers. C’mon, obesity is a serious threat these days. I’m taking one for the team, folks. Same with the raspberries that Juno’s mommy packs. Those things are LOADED with sugar. I better eat a few of them too. What toddler needs a Butterfinger? I’ll take that, thank ya. Sheesh. Well, that’s obviously an exaggeration, but I will totally eat whatever they drop on the floor. 3 second rule!
10:15 Snack time! Eat up. No, you can’t eat the baggie. Quit stealing her Oreos. Hey – let’s not eat our boogers and eat what’s on our plate. Who just fell out of their chair?!? QUIT licking the table, Gracie! Michael KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. Alex, where is your other shoe?
10:25 Wipe more noses. *sigh*
10:30 Set up computer and go to check email.
10:31 Uh oh. Trevor peed his pants. Find teacher…QUICK.
10:35 Sit down to check email.
10:37 Again with the boogery and runny noses. NEVER ENDING. A soup kitchen line has formed in front of me. Snot, snot, goose!
10:40 Oops…time to get ready for lunch. 5 classes in less than two hours. MOVE YOUNGUNS.
10:45-1:00 Lunch for 90 children. Napkins, sandwiches, cookies, crackers, chips, juiceboxes, macaroni and cheese, more juiceboxes(!), raisins, string cheese, goldfish crackers, grapes, chocolate icing sandwiches!?!
1:15 Collapse. NOT. Now it’s nap time for 90 children. Help clean up lunch tables and floor (more importantly) and then get nap-pads ready for each room. This means a 1. nap-pad, a 2. snuggy blanket or woobie, and 3. a stuffed animal. ONE FOR EACH CHILD. These things are not uniform folks. I need to know which wonky-eyed dog-eared bear/dog/doll belongs to each kid. HOLY MOLY.
1:30 Wipe all noses again before naptime.
1:40 Head to computer to finally get some “grown up” time and work done.
1:45 Check out my Facebook profile.
1:47 11 children suddenly have to use the potty. HELP ME, LORD.
2:00 Okay, now I’m going to check my email and relax.
2:01-3:00 Staff approaches me about time off, parent issues and problems with their classrooms. Another hour spent listening, consoling and commiserating.
Yes, I’ll order more hand sanitizer. No, I cannot help with diapers…as I will barf. LOTS. Sure, I’ll see if I can get you an air freshener, I am human after all. Trust me, if I had to work in the toddler room I’d show up every day in a Hazmat suit holding tongs. No, you cannot leave early because your nose-ring hurts. ( I kid, but they are young gals)
3:03 Everyone is up and everyone has a snotty nose. Wiping! Again! Hurrah!
3:15 Playtime! Let’s play ball and hit the jungle gym and ride in little cars! Also, let’s fight over cars and balls and jungle gyms! Let’s cry and hit and bite and fight. Ultimately exhausting for everyone. I end up with 8 kids crawling on me and snot on my shoulders. I’m usually only used to my own so I gag the whole way to the ladies room but I’d say that’s progress, really.
4:00 Parents start arriving. Even more fun. Yes, Trevor had an accident. No, Elizabeth didn’t eat her yogurt. Did you eat yogurt when you were two years old? That scratch on Ellie’s face came from a giraffe. I don’t know, she’s three. Yes, Maggie fell out of a buggy at K-Mart- that’s why she has a black eye. No, it wasn’t MY buggy. Yes, I think your child is probably gifted. Yes, I think your child is the cutest of the lot. He/She takes after you, right?!?
The kids are easy. The parents can be challenging at times, I suppose…I haven’t been there long enough yet. All I know is that I’m having the time of my life. I laugh. A lot.
I get a whole lot of hugs, too. It’s almost wrong to get paid for it. *wink*
I’ve always believed that God or a higher power of some sort always had a plan for me. I think it’s hilarious that it would seem that it would turn out that I would find myself smack in the middle of a pre-school – and LOVE it. God has quite the sense of humor, doesn’t he/she/it?
I really don’t mind, I’m laughing too…every single day.