I have a job.
IN THE CHILD CARE INDUSTRY.
I’ll just let ya’ll process that for a moment.
I kid you not, I am working in a pre-school and day care. She who used to recoil at the sight of a toddler. She who has changed a total of three diapers in her entire life. She who can’t see a “booger” without gagging.
And yet, here I am – having the time of my life. After twenty years of sitting in a cubicle attached to a computer and a headset, I am now in the role of a lifetime. I am an assistant at a pre-school. SERIOUSLY. Today I spent my afternoon putting teeny-tiny straws into juice boxes and playing catch with beach balls. We sang songs, told stories and played outside in the sunshine. I tell ya folks, I’ve had this gig all wrong all these years. This type of job is THE WAY to go.
First of all, there’s nap time. How awesome is that? We get to go nite–nite in the middle of the day. I used to do that at my old job but it was kind of frowned upon. On top of that, we get to have snacks… TWICE a day. Mandatory munching! Say no more. Besides that, going to the potty is AN EVENT. As ya’ll know, it always has been with me. Love it.
When you really think about it, adults in an office environment act more like children anyway. They’re jealous, competitive and greedy. It’s much easier on this level, I tell ya. I wish I could put some of my old co-workers in time-out. Also, I like working in an environment where the majority of problems can be solved with chocolate pudding. ROCK ON.
Maybe that’s why I’m fitting in so well. My maturity level is about that of a three year old. Plus, I really like carrots and applesauce. I also like to sing songs that make no sense. When you really think about it, I’ve been prepared to work with children my whole life. Most of my friends chatter incessantly, fall down now and again and pee their pants occasionally.
Well, maybe that might just be me.
In any case, I’m absolutely diggin’ it. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. After this dark and cold winter, spring is on the horizon and the sun is starting to shine. I go to work each day and know that I am going to kiss boo-boo’s and get hugs and laugh all day long. WHO AM I? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
I tell ya, I never thought I’d end up here…married, with 90 children.
Life is good. And it’s getting better every day.