So, I’m still here – freezing my ever-lovin‘ ass off out here in the country. It is so cold that it just makes me angry. When I walk outside to take out the trash I feel like Mother Nature just bitchslapped me. BRRR.
How’s things you say?
I’m getting better at finding my way around. Roads have names but they don’t always have signs out here, so I’ve learned other landmarks by which to navigate. For instance, there is a road on my way home without a sign. I know that it’s my road because of a weather beaten wooden sign that has been nailed to a tree. It has an arrow painted on it and it reads, “corn”. I know to turn right there. Ahem.
I try very hard to be mindful of my language around John’s daughters. I am pretty vigilant but sometimes things just slip. We do not say “fart” in this house, we simply “toot”. Not long ago I was holding our littlest one and noticed a foul smell. I asked her if she had “tooted” and she replied that she hadn’t. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. I then asked her if she may have some poo poo in her pants and again she replied no. To that, I said “well sweetie, something sure smells like shit”.
OOPS. I was so focused on the damn toot thing that I just spoke freely when I thought I was in the clear. The good news? She never noticed, THANK GOD. Stepmom of the year over here!
WOMAN’S‘ BEST FRIEND
One thing that has shocked me in all this transition is how much Mr. Cooper has helped out. I’ve spent almost a month solid with this scruffy junkyard dog and take him everywhere with me. He follows me from room to room and I talk to him like he’s a human being. He rarely will even go outside to the bathroom in the morning with John and sleeps every night by my side. Besides his obvious companionship, I think the mere fact that he’s around is helping me to not feel isolated and alone. I am still searching for a job so there’s a lot of down time in between. It’s been nice to have a constant object of familiarity and affection by my side.
I haven’t interviewed for a job in over 8 years – it’s been a challenge to be without employment. As much as I’d love to sit around and watch “Rock of Love” all day, I need to find gainful employment as soon as possible. I’m looking around and I know something will turn up. If push comes to shove, I’ll just go back to stripping, like in college.
ONE MONTH SUMMARY
It’s almost been one month since my life changed entirely. Sure, there have been minor bumps in the road and some disagreements. There’s also been a lot of snuggling and laughter, too. Most of all there is this incredibly magical powerful feeling that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I never pictured myself living in an old farmhouse out in the country with a husband and two little girls, but that’s my reality now. You know what? I once lived in a cute little cottage and had a fantastic social life and great friends and now…? Well, now things are different. Sure I miss my former life. I miss the freedom, the quiet and the sanity.
But now? Now, I have a family. And that’s something I never thought I’d have.
Growing older certainly doesn’t mean growing up – but my little circle has grown, and I’m incredibly thankful for that. Just when you think you’ve got life all figured out, it throws you a curve ball.
I can happily attest to that.