This evening after work I managed to
physically drag sweet talk Jess and Ann into bopping over to the mall for a little dress shopping for my upcoming wedding. As in, a dress for me to wear to my wedding, notsomuch a wedding dress. My upcoming wedding is ubercasual and I just wanted to find something floral and fall-like. Nice try, lard ass.
Well, that was an eye-opening experience on many different levels.
First off, why can’t Bulimia be contagious? Because really? My trying on sweater dresses under fluorescent lights? GOUGE OUT MY EYES WITH A MELON BALLER NOW.
Waaaaaaay attractive. Crow’s feet. Muffin top. I’m pale. Oh and squishy. Awesome.
I feel pretty.
QUOTES FROM ANN:
You know, I don’t really like the sleeves on that. What else? Um…everything!
I don’t like anything in here enough to even force upon you.
You know what doesn’t go with a dress? A SOUR FACE.
I feel like I should be down at the next store already picking things out for you to try on. You have my cellphone number, right?
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
This time could you please take off your converse sneakers and your socks? It really just doesn’t help your whole look.
SO THE SEARCH IS ON
FYI, I’m going to invest my entire 401k fund into Spanx.
I may end up wearing my favorite faded jeans and my tattered Aerosmith t-shirt.
What matters is I had a lot of fun this evening with two close pals. As I get older, I tend to appreciate more the people that know me best, and still hang out with me anyway.
shopping nazi Ann, and Jess. I truly hope you both regain your sight after witnessing me model the knit wrap dress from The Gap.