Friends and Fashion

This evening after work I managed to physically drag sweet talk Jess and Ann into bopping over to the mall for a little dress shopping for my upcoming wedding. As in, a dress for me to wear to my wedding, notsomuch a wedding dress. My upcoming wedding is ubercasual and I just wanted to find something floral and fall-like. Nice try, lard ass.

Well, that was an eye-opening experience on many different levels.

First off, why can’t Bulimia be contagious? Because really? My trying on sweater dresses under fluorescent lights? GOUGE OUT MY EYES WITH A MELON BALLER NOW.

Waaaaaaay attractive. Crow’s feet. Muffin top. I’m pale. Oh and squishy. Awesome.
I feel pretty.


You know, I don’t really like the sleeves on that. What else? Um…everything!

I don’t like anything in here enough to even force upon you.

You know what doesn’t go with a dress? A SOUR FACE.

I feel like I should be down at the next store already picking things out for you to try on. You have my cellphone number, right?

If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

This time could you please take off your converse sneakers and your socks? It really just doesn’t help your whole look.


FYI, I’m going to invest my entire 401k fund into Spanx.

I may end up wearing my favorite faded jeans and my tattered Aerosmith t-shirt.

What matters is I had a lot of fun this evening with two close pals. As I get older, I tend to appreciate more the people that know me best, and still hang out with me anyway.

Thanks shopping nazi Ann, and Jess. I truly hope you both regain your sight after witnessing me model the knit wrap dress from The Gap.

5 thoughts on “Friends and Fashion

  1. My sister did uber-casual at her wedding, also. At the very last minute, she found a plain lacey dress at Fashion Bug, of all places. Just let it come to you. Maybe check some consignment shops or second hand stores and go funky. You will know it the minute you find IT. Happy shopping, best wishes and good luck.

  2. Shannon says:

    Just to comment on the comments.. “You know what doesn’t go with a dress? A SOUR FACE.” – this is totally something someone would say that looks like it is Christmas morning in every picture she is in..and.. “This time could you please take off your converse sneakers and your socks? It really just doesn’t help your whole look.” – this is something I very much expect to hear myself..except you bet your ass I will be wearing Chuck Taylors underneath my wedding dress (should that day ever arrive..)

  3. Imez says:

    Muffin tops are adorable. “Everyone knows the best part of the muffin is the top.”Me, I store leavened bread dough on a shelf above my waistband. This was hilarious, by the way.

  4. Those dresses don’t look good on anyone, by the way. It’s not you. They were never meant to be worn for real. Ever.

  5. Anonymous says:

    So what’s the date for the wedding?? Has your house sold yet??? Things are moving so fast…it feels out of control! Give a girl a minute to catch up!Nancy

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